The NoToriouZ OnE

2009-10-17T00:39:00.004+08:00

its been quite sometime i have not been blogging... so so sorry to those who keep track my blogs.. i've been bz lately with werk and stuff... aniwae Syawal ending soon... yeah~~

lyfe for me is as usual... surely have the ups n downs... but wat to do we as humans have to live with this... its natural.... been contacting someone recently... she's sweet!! the first time i really saw her i fell for her... her smile is the key of attraction... i juz hope i can know her much much better... we keep in contact on n off... itz really hard for her to go out with me... hmmm... i dun noe y but she has her reasons i think... she already knew my feelings... at first i wasnt really expexting her contact me...coz my mind set was,..."hmmm juz try my best... some more wat will she be looking into me?.. im fat... dun hav the looks..." tat was wat have been running in my mind... but in the end, she dont mind all tat...

i ve been missing her presence lately... sun we are planning to go out but my bike juz broke down and she said tat maybe sun oso she will be quite bz... Funny kan if u really understand the sentence... now shes seeing another guy named faisal... haisss.... n shes missing him lately, padahal cket hari baru jumpe budak tu... from wat i see he's more gud looking... i dun noe lar... i juz dun wanna think so much right now... my tooth is in alot of pain even when im blogging now... and now i have to think of this???!!! if the WORST really happen then i will really let u go...if u choose to be happy with someone else then watz the use i keep holding u...

"Manusia hanya merancang,... Tuhan yang menentukan..."

apepun aku akan hadapi dgn tabah... mungkin ini dugaan yg diberikan... takpelar sabar je lar nak uat mcm ner kan... sayang punye pasal..

"For ur happiness gerl, i'll get tat chanel ring for u oke..."

Mark my words.... =)

u r a big gerl now n u noe wats right and wrong... decisions is yours... i've told u before, im wiliing to wait....

take care...

2009-09-22T20:33:00.003+08:00

Wahh so long never blog...
aniwae first of all i juz wanna wish every muslim Selamat Hari Raya....
enjoy the holidays yawhhh people...

Ramadhan?...hmmm maen bunga api n mersun lurhh!! hahaha....

oke this is wat i do during Ramadhan, a whole month of fasting season, me n frens went to taraweh...but this time its totally different...we decided to go to kampung type mosque....i dun akceli know how to say this...hahaha...i didnt manage to follow some of my frens on some occasion...we went to mosque like masjid tentera diraja, masjid hang jebat, masjid omar salmah, masjid pusara aman, masjid petempatan melayu sembawang, masjid haji mohd saleh....hope i didnt miss out any mosque...the atmosphere there was so like ......'kampong'..hehehe...

during tis year Ramadhan also i manage to do something so meaningful....on the 5th of sept 09 (Saturday) me n a few frens went down to darul makmur mosque located at yishun...we helped to packed at least ard 400 groceries and dry foods to give away to the needy people...on tat day itself we juz packed as many as we could...the next day then we will start to give away....

6th of sept 09 (Sunday), i manage to get a few more frens to help out in giving out the groceries....there are quite many other bikers manage to come along n help in this event...i didnt manage to count exactly how many but approximately its abt not more than 200 bikers came....its juz so great...we were to give away locations like yishun, sembawang, wdlands, bkt panjang and ghim moh area...bikers with their own group will have their own location...fer me n my frens we juz covered ard yishun and wdlands area...my last house tat i send the groceries was at 715pm...me,jafri n zul sat down fer awhile....we mit the rest at wdlans esso and some were breaking their fast there....actually the plan was to break fast at Darul Ma'wa...so we never did have the time....after breaking fast of a bottle of water, a packet of biscuit and a few sticks of cigarrette, we rush down to Darul Ma'wa to mit up with the rest of the bikers....we reached ard 8+ and we have a proper meal before we head down to geylang bazar with the kids...

we walked down geylang n bought a few stuff for them...we shared our life experiences with them....n they shared theirs...some of them was their last day here as their relatives will pick them up few days time before Syawal...but i juz felt pity for the rest tat really hav no parents or relatives to look after...its abt 10+ and we sent them back to Darul Ma'wa...it was the most emotional moment fer some of the bikers..some even hug n kiss them...next day was a werking day n it was very tiring...

haiss hope i cud get back there to entertain the kids....hehee...maybe next year?...insyaallah...

hmmm i really miss Ramadhan...

now im having a high fever...on mc on 3 days....WTH?!!

hope i'll get a full recovery n asap went back to werk...

Selamat Hari Raya People...Maaf Zahir Batin....

~Yano

BesTTTT...

2009-09-05T14:40:00.003+08:00

hey peeps...
haha nothing to do juz feel lyke blogging...
juz woke up actually...

now dun even noe wat to write!!
haha...
wat the fish betol....
aniwae going off soon to masjid darul makmur at yishun...
helping to pack dry foods for the needy people...
tommoro aru kite ramai2 send to the needey houses...
today juz pack jer...

i tink its gud to do stuff like tis during ramadhan...
even though its volunteer werk but in the end u 'll feel great akceli...
oke lar i got to go now...

btw mon test!!!!!
but smrt is full of fun n interesting akceli...
hehehe...

k then..
tata!!~~~

2009-08-30T06:59:00.002+08:00

hey peeps...
so lazy to update my blog....
hahaha...tiz few days always feeling so the lazy...
hehe...

oke...
aniwae i cant actually sleep rite now...
hope somewhere in the middle part typing tiz blog i would start to feel sleepy.....
hopefully oke!!~~

today woke up at ard 2+ in the afternun....hah sleepy k...
then on the com n juz check my mails n facebook acc...
hmmm noting much to do...
at werk kinda of busy...
people ordering pizza fer their breakfast...
cant even think of smoking...
WTH kann?..
haha...
actually my canadian buddies planned to go to geylang....
but in the end we end up at punggol at Boss house....
hahaha last minute plan u could say that....
watch EPL match between Man u n Arsenal...
hahaha HATI PANAS JER TGK GAME TU...
WATZ WRONG WITH THE REFREE?...
haha oke im being emotional here... so sorry..
oke cut it out...
sucks big time oke...
hahaha...

now here i am screening the com in front...
i juz feel i miss someone right now...
hhahaa... juz a feeling...
nahhh...*Knock myself*...
cant think of her kann....
she said we're only friends!!!~
PLZ INSERT TAT TO UR GOD DAMN MIND YAN!!!!!.....

sebenarnye tgh tgk video die nyanyi tady...
she so beautiful n sweet...
but i really like the voice...
the song bidadari hatiku is still the best!!...
i love her version... =)
But watever it is i'll always pray for her n family...
hope there will be someone to make her happy even if tat guy is not me...

oke lar im starting to blurt out nonsense stuff here...
coz im really SLEEPY...!!!
lol...
k la update again yawh!!~~

taking care all...
tata...

~always Bring out the best in u.....

2009-08-23T22:48:00.002+08:00

fasting month yey!!

this year Ramadhan is a bit sad fer me coz 1st day of Puasa down with a fever n difficulty breathing...

hahha got so freaked out actually at first...

coz whenever i breathe in deep my lungs gave out a crucial pain...

hehe nevermind abt tat...

i juz hope tiz year Ramadhan n Syawal wil be even more meaningful for me...

life is juz full of obstacles tat we hav to go thru...

but no matter what life has to go on...

hahhaa...

yar everyone says tat... i noe...

k la logging off my com now...

nothing much to do...

tomoro a full shift day werk fer me...

happy fasting peeps!!~~

~to succeed u have to sacrifice.....

2009-08-20T01:17:00.000+08:00

Hidop Tanpa Cinta...Seperti Idop tanpa cita-cita...

~Yano

bloggggg.....

2009-08-15T15:59:00.000+08:00

hey guys...

sorry been not updating my blog fer so long....
been bz wif werk n frefns n family...
noting much of my life now...
juz wanna werk n be happy fer wat i like...
i dun like people bossing me ard...

and yeah!!~
yesterday i got a call from SMRT...
i got recruited n will be going fer the briefing on this wed...
how cool was tat?!!

haha im juz so happy...
after a long search of various jobs at last!!...
aniwae juz wanna say to people out there...
"dun give up coz wat ever happens its still not the end of the world..."
never too late to start a new journey in life...

tiz few days asyik maen poker jer...
haha pastime lar...
k lar wanna go werk now...

stay happy alwayz peeps...
have a nice weekend...!!

"there's always time to start afresh"

2009-07-18T15:49:00.004+08:00

sorie been bz lately... tak sempat nak update blog... aniwae life have been so arghhhh... entah lar kann... still finding a way to pay all my bike fines... hahaha... end of the mth going to court lau tak bayar... haiss... dudok je lar lau takle bayar... paling2 pon sebulan dua jek... hehe...

oke2 cut the crapzz... hmm... a week of left for dead... haha mcm org giler uhh kite maen lan.... i think nearly everyday we played tat game... haha giler kan...

k la got to go to werk later... nxt week is a bz week for me...will be werking morning to nite maybe.... u guys taking care... tata~~

_*_smile peeps... dun forget that.... *Winkz*

huh...

2009-07-11T18:16:00.003+08:00

Hey peepz....

its been a long time tat i last updated my blog...

aniwae i m oke now...juz feeling a bit awkward jek when it came to gerls...hahha dun ask me y, i dun noe oke...kalau my gerl frens oke lar...

sejak baper hari ni, carik kejer...carik kejer...carik kejer...hantar resume da baper byk tapy satu pon tak get back...damnzzz....macam ner aku nak bayar saman moto nie?!!...haizz...takpe lar takle bayar then dudok je uh...i dun wanna burden anione animore...paling2 pon dudok 3 bulan...maybe juz cakap dgn mak attachment kejer 3 bulan jek...hehe....takpe lar...ni sumer planning jek...tapy lau ader rezeki tu mesty la bayar...

now im really missing my teenage life seii...time tu lar zaman gilang gemilang....haha gerek per...but we cant juz turn back time right?...how i wish seii...i tink its everibody wish to turn back into time...hehe...

today juz slacking at home wif this com...maen poker, tgk movie, chatting...haha begitu je larr aku...

naper lar aku like tiz state....?...naper?...lau aku tak ambik leave kejer pat Condo Bishan tu kann aku rase aku da kejer all the way sampai skg...naper lar aku cant take things professionally...haiss...but i dun wish to blame on anibodie...i juz blame myself for this...if i cud juz accept the fact that time, arghh....forget lar oke...im over that thing oredy...ckap alek mcm saket haty seii...takpe lar bukan jodoh dan bukan rezeki aku agaknyeee... =)

tapy aku akan selalu doa yg terbaek utk 'kamu'...doa2 je lar yg aku bole sampaikan pat kau...walaupon kau tak mendengar tapy Tuhan ajer yg mendengar... insyaallah...tapy kite masey kawan...dalam INTERNET...haha...klakar tol...tapy tu yg kau nak...aper lei uat...

oke lar...penat uh type2...malas nak check spelling...lau ader spelling yg tak betol harap maaf...oke then charlo.....

whee~~

2009-07-05T06:17:00.003+08:00

juz came back from lepak-ing @jurg...

akceli today woke up quite late...ard 2+ agaknyee....hahaha...penat lar sgt2...hehee... went to werk at 4pm...tu pon lambat jugak....huhur...best per...then played soccer wif frenz at FICO till ard 3am i tink... =) fun jugak walaupon penat...tapy still upset jugak dgn perangai budak2 yg back out last min...haisss....tak paham larr dgn dorg...takperlah they are still my buddies...hehe... =)

then chill out at jurg...haha badan saket2 seii...nie tydo mesty best kann....jap agy uh...kasi bes blog dulu da lamer tak update...

yeah~ now im standing strong again...tiz is lyfe...u cant win all the tyme...u still need to lose jugak kann...hehe...oke aku tgh merepek... hahaha...im still strong enough to face the obstacles...alhamdulillah...

tapy aku selalu doakan die semoga she would find her happiness back...insyaallah...hehe...

oke stop the talking...

nak tydo nie...

aniwae tanx faii fer editing!!~~~

sayang kau byk2 lar chubby....hahhaa....

reali shocked jugak 1st time login blog...pikir salah blog...hahha...

but its MINE!!!!~~~

wow...~~

tengkiuw Faii Faii ....!!!!

CharLo TheN....

2009-07-01T14:31:00.003+08:00

Hey Guys!!~~~

Noting much to update....

Listening to my mp3....

FRi Nie Bowling....

Sat nie Bola at Fico...

Sun nie makan @ sakura Interrnational Buffet....

N mlm ader bbQ!!!~

Pack Jugak Tiz Week....

*********

Bye Guys....

mY LifE is so bored....

2009-06-28T05:46:00.004+08:00

haha...look at the heading....

it says "my life is so bored.."

haha memang bored pon...naseb ader kengkawans aku yg gerek..lau tak mampos lar aku...da lamer aku terjun tingkap...lol...oke2 choi...mulot nyerr!!~~~hehe...

juz came back from lepaking at jurg...onli me,idir, din n malau,,,,hahaha...

memang tiz few days rase tak sedap haty...entah lar eh....i juz dun wish to elaborate more....

n yest...jeng...jeng...jeng...noting lar...

akceli mimpy kan die agy...

im still trying my best to ferget her...but it seems tat the feelings is getting stronger...tah lar kann i dun noe y....maybe its oredy like tat...i dun noe abt her feelings abt me...

does she remember me at times?...

does her feelings towards me reali gone?...

tiz ques keep on haunting me almost everyday wen i tink of her...

takpe lar...cant force her oso wat....so juz follow the flow je lar....

but tiz feelings i dunnoe wen will it fade away....

will it fade away?...

will i dream the same dream again?...

will i get to see her again?...

if i cud onli get one wish....n juz one wish...i juz wish tat i wud juz sleep n never wake up....

~i juz want u to be happie again..

~ur happiness is my happpiness....

~~my dream gerl is still a dream...

*SmiLe People*

namun ku masey sendiri....

=)

2009-06-26T05:15:00.006+08:00

its oredy 520am....

still cant sleep....

wat the heck tol..

finishing up my latest song....

i'll onli be posting at tiz blog...

will not be posting at utube or facebook....

so saper yg dapat dgr tu alhamdulillah....saper yg tak too bad....

k la cut the crap...

enjoy the video....

tak sedap jgn marah.... =)

tanx fer watching...~

=)

2009-06-23T16:15:00.004+08:00

Noting much to do yest....

morning went to bowl wif idir, mus, afio....

waited quite long fer people to finish their game....

n i juz realised tat i cant play bowling no more!!~~~

drop giler sak!!!... itz unbelieveable.....

haha...

then after tat me n afo went to lim chu kang cemetry....

idir n mus went to JB....

ziarah kubur arwah bapak n kubur my bestfren arwah halim n kubur arwah bapak sya....

cleaned up their grave a bit....

sedekah kan beberape surah n we left.....

then met labu n haev our lunch together....

met amok after tat n we decided to go karaoke at nite....

went to a few places oso take a few pics....

the headed to simpang bedok fer karaoke...

after the karaoke session we chill out at yishun dam....

~i called her...
~she didnt picked up the call...
~she text me back..

oke im theres a few things tat we text to each other....

i juz feel unfair....so very unfair to me...

i still nid to noe the reason y....

im hanging like a piece of feather following the flow of the wind....

i dun noe....

i reali2 dun noe....

let me be in tiz way...

let the hurt be wif me all my life...~

2009-06-22T04:36:00.005+08:00

afio~idir~me...

Cant reali sleep....

something is reali bothering me but i dunno wat....

haiss....

i so tired of thinking.....

will i? have i?.....

will u? have u?.....

shit!!~ it keeps on running on and on my mind...

wanna sleep rite now....

so tired...

akceli i made tiz song juz for her....

i onli need a chance from her....

sya...i've been thinking of u lately....

my heart...it still hurts but i kept it inside me tiz tyme.....

song composed by me....

_Cintaku sebuah mimpi_

2009-06-20T12:01:00.003+08:00

I dreamt about her again yest....

i saw her so happy....

im happy for her....

But its juz a dream......

2009-06-17T17:47:00.004+08:00

cant tink of aniting to write as there are no events today....hmmm...nevermind lar....i tink i juz post tiz poem tat i've made last 2 days ago....

aniwae im not sending her any more poems...if i do i'll surely make her mad....so any poems tat i have made i'll juz post it down here...

~To Hope n Pray is juz the best thing to do as i noe i cudnt do aniting more to get close to her....

__ForGive N ForGet__

Forgive me....

Forget him...

Forget the Love story tatz so extreme...

Hoping fer u to start a love story...

Remember my Love Fer 4 u have no boundary...

Wat have he done to make u like this...

I noe u wont forget his lovely kiss...

To God i reali swore...

Never will i make ur heart sore...

Forgive me...

Forget him...

I noe the chances to have u is reali slim...

U are the dream gerl i've been dreaming about...

Never in my mind had single doubt...

Let him be a memory of ur past...

As his feelings for u will eventually rust...

Unlike my heart theres already ur name...

Even if we part the feelings is still the same....

Dead TireD......

2009-06-16T23:34:00.005+08:00

Before posting a few pictures of todays event...juz a short type of letters...Here Goes~

Wake up early today....still in a sleeping mode i guess...hahaa....yest slept@ ard 5+ in the morning...

Bro, me, mom n Sakinah went to send cik Miz n Cik Tom to Larkin Bus Interchange @ JB...

then went home ard 1+ in the afternun....go home rest kejap giler...kalau bole nak tydo alek tapy da janji Din N Aim go fishing...haha...

Met wif them n fish @ Tanah Merah....the wind is so strong n the current's so strong...haha sampai umpan abes...went back to Changi bought some bait n went fishing @ changi sailing boat club...ard there uh....hahaha....

the view of the sunset really amazed me...WAH!! LAWA NYERRRR...Romantik kan....hahhaa....

Aim went home alone as he had to werk later at nite....left me n din....

guessed wat we do....~~~~~~~

da pack sumer barang2 we watch Anugerah pat sane...tak nak alek nie!!! haha....tgk pakai hp aku ler apelagy....watch the show till my batt ujung2 nyawa...hahaa....

N we went back home after tat....

here's the pics fer today!!~~~~ENjoy.....

sakinah...Dun mind my face..im juz sleepy n tired...

She's Sleepy oso....

Oke GerL...Plz Wear ur seatbelts....

Tiz Is Nur Sakinah....

The BeautiFuL Sunset....

Caught Aim Taking pics of the sunset....

Din Bz Wif The TackLE's

Tatz All....

aniwae im picking up myself from the downs tat i've been thru...although theres still scratches here n there but dun worrie guys i cud manage...

NiteZ All....~~~~

Ngantok nie....

2009-06-15T17:30:00.004+08:00

before going to werk i juz wana post this poem tat i've made yesterday...

CuDnt Sleep So WeLL...

Tiz Is wat i Do wen takde kejer....

Love Her

Love her deeply...

Love her sincerely...

Love her till she felt like a lady...

Love her now...

Or Love her Never...

The Love Tat is bound to be Forever...

Love her every second...

Love her till eternity...

Love her like it is meant to be...

Love her like a princess...

Love her till she confess...

Love her like itz already Blessed...

Love her or Not to Love Her....

To me it really does Matter....

2009-06-14T17:55:00.003+08:00

so bored of lyfe...

mati agy bagus...

im such a gud actor i tink....

in front of my frens i reali act like crazie...

but wen im reali alone, like now,.. my heart ache like hell...

wat shud i reali do to make her realised i reali like her....

now its not even possible....

u wanna noe y?!!

she wont entertain any msgs from me....

only abt music stuff she will reply...

oke juz put ur shoes to mine...

u'll noe how i reali feel rite now...

im so weak to do aniting....

i juz let it be her way....

aper yg die pikirkan ni?..

i reali cant make it out myself...

is she so scared to fall in love again bcoz of her past?...

saper yg seksa die sampai mcm nie?...

im reali2 so confused....

i cant sleep well....

i cant eat well....

i cant tink properly....

im so weak rite now....

very weak....

it juz makes me cry tinking of her...

im a crybaby...

say watever people wants....

the feeling inside me,...no one knows...

~staring into thin air....

~crying while typing tiz...

~dreams were juz dreams fer me....

2009-06-13T14:02:00.003+08:00

juz woke up....

i cant sleep reali well....

my whole body aching like hell....

later will be going to werk @ 3pm...

im not in the mood....

i juz feel heart shatterred to pieces after i receive her msg yesterday....

pedih lar sgt2 hati aku....

its been 2 weeks i've not been having proper meals...

sometimes a bread can last me till the next day....

tiz is not me oke...

im so down right now....

~y do have to treat me like tis?..

~is it fair?...

still tryin my best to smile n laugh....

frenz....they keep me going strong....

tanx guys....

2009-06-12T15:01:00.004+08:00

came back from JB @ ard 6am today...

went home n hav a short nap...

wanted to wake up at 830 sekali terbangun ard 11+....

went to an SMRT opening at jurong east...

tapy org die ckap for MRT next week...

Wat the Fish betol~

waste my time...

lucky manage to go fer fri prayers...

still waiting fer her reply whether going out or not...

waiting....

waiting......

waiting..........

maybe shes tired....

takpe lar juz wait......

here are the pics tat i went to botaniic gdns the other day....

Me feeding the swan....

me n din

come Boy~its feeding time...

still waiting....

its like someting is not right.....

....................

2009-06-11T15:28:00.003+08:00

Here i am blogging while listening to tiz beautiful song by elliot yamin~wait for u....

the werds reali touches me...

yest afternun went to botanic garden wif din and wirda....

tanx guys for inviting me...

the scenery was so nice n it eases my mind...but it was hot all day long...

kasi makan ikan....ambik gambar...etc...

woah yeah~ i had a great time....

waiting for wirda to upload the pics...

~she picked my call yest!!..

~tapy die nak tydo.....

~takpe lar maybe she's tired n sleepy....

~i reali wanna ask her out seii....

~tapy takot...er...errr...eerrrrr......

2009-06-10T03:03:00.005+08:00

noting much to say....

juz tired n sleepy....

i wrote tiz poem fer her...hope she'll get to read it one day...

here goes~....

_Dreams_

This poem is fer a special gerl...

Whose dreams are bigger

than this world...

She sings and plays a guitar...

Even i could hear if she's from far...

She's talented and im not...

Im juz an ordinary guy made by God...

I got the feeling now

she doesnt feel good...

Im willing to make her smile

in watever i could...

Will i get a chance to fix her broken heart...

Coz im already in love

right from the start...

If she could feel wat im feeling...

Then i hope im not dreaming...

I cant go on this lyfe without u...

But frens keep me strong

to make it through...

Hope ur Dreams will come true one day...

Even if u fall i'll be right

behind u all the way...

~cant find her in msn fer past few days...

~too scared to call her...

~im missing her dearly right now...

2009-06-09T11:30:00.003+08:00

i cant sleep....

sleep wake up...bangun tydo pat sofa...

tydo then bangun....tydo pat bawah....

amnesia?...

i kept hearing her sweet voice....

sleep at 6am n woke up at 10am....

watz happening to me?...

~still @ has house....

i dunno juz dun wish to go home rite now....

another day of boredom...

2009-06-09T03:57:00.003+08:00

today so bored...noting to do juz laze ard n sending resume to a few companies...

haiss...is tiz the life tat i wanted?...

i dun care abt tat animore...

i juz want her in my life...

tatz all..n its final!!

i dun care wat it takes...i reali dont... =(

werk canadian juz now n even my boss mamat realise tat im not myself today...he asked whether im oke or not....i uz reply "takde pape lar mat...aku oke...mcm biase jer.." padahal pikiran pat tempat laen...haisss...."lau kau ader masalah juz tell me...maybe im not a gud listener but i can give u advise...." tatz wat boss say to me...

yarr i cant ferget u sya...so hard fer me to ferget u...

my heart n soul is only fer u....

u had my smile....n now im juz forcing myself to smile....

maybe i juz live to bear all the pain....

dun wori im useed to it....

but....to lose u sya....

i cant...

i reali reali cant.....

2009-06-08T15:03:00.003+08:00

dreamt of her again yesterday...

shitt!! woke up dgn cold sweat....

im reali sad rite now...

holding back my tears....

i juz wish i cud dream n never wake up.....

i dunn noe y....

2009-06-08T03:03:00.003+08:00

haiss takde mood langsung...

saw her facebook...

i wanted to comment on her pic...but so scared..i dunnoe y....

i realli realli dunn noe y...

she so sweet on her baju kurung...

i like gerls who wear baju kurung..its so nice n sweet...

wen i look at her...cair seii...

but im reali sad...how i wish u cud be mine...

i'll shower u wif happiness...

listening to tiz song~wait fer u by elliot yamin

so sorie tat i reali had to cry now... ='(

sedih sangat tak terhingga...

razif juz kol...tanyer asal suare aku mcm tu...i say noting lar...

haiss y alwaez in the end im the one end up feeling the pain...

i juz feel like dying...

='( ....... ='( ......... ='( ..............

i'll still wait fer u~

2009-06-08T02:20:00.003+08:00

juZ came back from todayz outing....woke up at ard 12+ i tink...mit idir n mif @ ard 3pm gy jembutan Bob'z sister wedding...razip came down oso but abit late..."Sorie geng aku makan dulu tgh lapar...hehe..."makan n then chill ard there fer awhile....

after tat mit up wif aim went to vivocity tgk2 baju, barang etc...most of the shop are on sale...i saw Ben's 10 watch!!!! i wanna buy....u guys wanna say i budak2 goo ahead im still buying it....its so cool oke....walk ard vivo till exhausted...

then i called her but she didnt pick up the call...haiss....asal seii...ape salah aku da bikin sampai msg ker kol pon tak reply...so sad...reali sad...tot of wanna ask her out gy makan mlm...tapy time kol memang menggeletar jugak ader jer kener marah seii....manage to smile n laugh while still window shopping....padahal hati ni tak sedap...i dunn no why lar....

then @ around 8 or 9+ tady gy maen bowling wif idir n mif @ bkt batok CDANS...after so long kempunan maen bowling at last its fullfilled...had fun playing...then...haty ni rase laen mcm lak...haiss... da kenaper ni yann?!!!! i dun no mcm tibe2 jer... terus takde mood maen bowling....imagine 2nd round nye total points i onli manage to score 50 jer...rabak per!!!

ader terpikir nak kol die tapy lebih baek jgn...ader je kener maki lak...da kol tady ni kol agy...takper2...hais...chill pat gombak stadium after tat n its 12 o'clock n idir n mif wanna go home coz they werking tomoro morning...

mit up wif din after his shift...he wanted to send wirda some food...romantik kan!!so went to NUS antar wirda makanan...heehe...then tgk dorg best uh...i reali envy the both of them...nice couple...chill down there fer awhile then went home...

while writting tiz blog i reali sad abt my own lyfe....

itz juz a waste yann!!...

2009-06-07T05:09:00.003+08:00

juz came back from prawn fishing wif frens @ sungei tengah...had fun fishing...met din and mif giler at bkt timah esso ard 12+...mif giler da bawak moto seii....feweeett!!!they waited fer me long enuf...sorie lar geng hav to go back to werk place coz canadian nye kunci moto aku terbawak balek...bukan satu tapy due pulak tu!!! haha...

then met li n his neighbour @ the fishing place...epul came down too...enjoy the prawning then we bbq it on the spot...haha fresh....the taste oke oke lar fer me....the weather today was damn hot...been perspiring all day...haiss....

juz now werk like hell...2 org je kejer...satu rider n me as a cook n rider...hais....inagine aku bikin pizza then aku antar pizza....akceli therez 4 so one of them involved in an accident so dun noe how bad...hope hes fine...the other one kener keje overtime at his full time job...haiss maty2...till 5+ then the next shift colleagues came...wat a relief...hah!! relief kepaler otaq aku!!!... order makin belambak...haha...ard 8+ jer badan da lembik...cannot take it oredy...hehe...betol lar din satu ary aku maty pat kejer...huhur.... =P

i called her juz now but she didnt pick up the phone....i dun noe if shez asleep or juz doesnt wanna pick my call....haisss i reali dunnoe...i juz wanna wish her all the best fer tomoro coz i remembered tat she n her music clan had an invitation to a wedding ceremony...hmm...never mind lar wat to do...

so long tat i never get to chat wif her...

never get to hear her sing fer me...

never get to see her sweet face...

will i get to see all tat again?...will i?...

fer now i juz hope n pray......hope n pray.....hope n pray..... ='(

tatz all i can do....

hope Allah listens wat im hoping fer in lyfe....

~all the best fer ur performance @ the invitation later sya.... =)

2nd Link...

2009-06-06T03:52:00.004+08:00

_4 Super4 n my LoveLy Spark_

juz came back from jb...haiss...didnt went thru woodlands checkpoint instead we go thru 2nd link...quite fun akceli...tak jam langsung cumer kener toll n bayar cashcard je...duet duet....

nowadays sumer pakai duet...haiss....

gonna werk later from 10am-11pm...mesty mati nyee aku....takper lar aper nak uat....ade kejer, kejer jer la...

tady rase nak uat poem tapy kan...mate da ngantok...!!!! nah i tink better go sleep nanty kejer long hours...

taking care guys...i wanna hear ~ku perlukan mu by asya till i sleep...melody of her voice is so nice even though she says her voice sucks...but i tink the other way round...

~reali miss her rite now...

~i reali wanna call her seii...haiss....

~so scared....

~everytime i'll look at my hp c if any miss kol from her...

~i reali...reali...reali...miss u sya....

~dan mungkin bila nanty kita kan bertemu lagy...satu pinta ku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali...rasa yg ku tinggal mati...

oke sambong!!...haha...oke im not myself rite now...

off tuh sleep....nites everyone...

2009-06-05T18:21:00.003+08:00

not in the mood to do aniting right now...i feel like a piece of junk...

went to an interview juz now....i cant tink properly...wat ever the manager ask me i wud like err...err...er...i juz say wat i wanna say....i told him directly wat s the use of werking if everyday u come to werk wif only a half hearted eventhough ur pay is quite gud...i like a happy environment...hais dun noe lar...he say he let me tink abt it n conferm wif him once im ready...i dunno akceli now...i cant tink...seriously....

i looked at my hand phone calender coz thatz where i save certain things so tat i cud remember....then scrolling back to dates, i saw her birthday april...at tat time things were reali sweet between us...memories are memories...haiss...oke im really trying to hold back my tears rite now...

will she noe if everytime i cried its fer her?...

i tink juz let it be tiz way....

let me the one who hurts more....

i juz wanna see u smile....n laugh...n happy....

i noe her smile n laughter are fake...she trying her best....i can see tat...but inside her shes bleeding...

even i myself do tat...i juz dun wanna burden anione wif my problems....im trying my best to smile oke..

tell me all ur probs...im willing to face all the ups n downs wif u....

hah!!! fat hope lar yan....she wont tell u aniting la yan!!!

remember tiz sya...u r not alone...but u choose to be alone...

but i'll be here...owaez...waiting fer u.....

~no mood to practice guitar....

2009-06-04T13:04:00.003+08:00

yest so slack...noting to do...juz laze ard at home and at werk....

i dun feel right tiz few days...

therez something missing....

mit up din after werk yest...went home wif him coz im borrowing a guitar from my fwen...din says he's smiling in the outside but pain in the inside...

yar i noe how he feels...its reali painful....you have to put up 2 faces...

its juz like wat im doing now....in front of them i try to be happie...the feeling reali macam sial!! deep down in me...hais...i dun wanna say lar....only Allah knows better....

but tiz is lyfe...i told hym i have given up hope in lyfe oredy...im juz living in a body without a soul...juz following the flow rite now...

along tiz 24 years of life ive met different people...life experience...

i remembered wen i was remanded in prison years back then,..theres a abg2 gangster told me...

"boi, kau umor baper? aper case kau bikin..kau masey mude agy...jgn bazir idop kau..."

someting like tat...cant recall exact werds....

imagine uh badan 'sapau' tattoos sane sini muker fierce ckap dgn aku mcm ni...

akceli they are nice people...only wen thins get out of hand n they cant control their emotions they tend to break the law...sorry if im wrong here bcoz its juz wat i thought of them...

typing tiz blog my heart feels so not right,,,i dunno why oke...

reali hav the urge to call her...

but....

will she answer my calls?...

msg je tak reply...ape lagy call....

nahh.. better not...might make her angry wif me again...

juz let my lyfe swayy wif the wind...

i dun hav any direction now...

i lost everything to her...

my smile...laughter...

and...

happiness.....

2009-06-03T11:54:00.006+08:00

woke up at 11 am juz now...slept only fer 3 to 4 hours....sleep wake up...sleep wake up...haiss.....watz happening to me....i juz cant get her out of my head...still thinking of her again...

__Yano on R6__

yesterday after werking at canadian chill out wif my frens...played table tennis wif them till 4+ in the morning...didnt went back home straight...decided to chilll @ labrador park alone....the sea really ease my mind....

then ilham came to me...

i wrote a poem....

while hearing her beautiful melody voice....Bidadari hatiku....ku perlukan mu....

tears came rolling...so sorry i cant stand it....

if onli i cud send it to her...mus i send it to her?...

nah...i tink she will get angry wif me....let juz out tiz poem in my blog...

it started to rain n im here stuck at labrador park.....alone....

havent been using the com lately....i cant tink properly now....

tiz is the poem tat i made fer her....if only u cud read tiz....i named tiz poem..~Tears from the Heart...

__Tears from the Heart__

Sitting here alone by the seaside...

writting this beautiful poem without u beside...

rain starts to fall

down on me...

i let it be as i sat on my knees...

thinking about u

every now and then...

Hope one day u'll be mine

but i dunno when...

will ur feelings towards me

be the same...

coz mine will never ever change...

itz reali painful to see u wif someone else...

everytime i think my heart will swells...

still cant figure out

the reason abt what u've said...

deep down inside u

i noe im not the one u hate...

tearz start to roll while writting tiz poem...

when i heard ur songs tatz full of rhythm...

hope one day u pull back your words again...

so tat tiz love story will live without a single pain...

tatz all~

Gud day guys~!!!

My short poem...

2009-06-02T00:08:00.009+08:00

Juz a simple short poem tat i made for someone...specially fer her...words tat came right from my heart...i named tiz poem~ GerL of my Dream... Enjoy...

__GerL of My Dream__

Today's the day

i wont forget...

To see my dream gerl

that i've met...

To see you face to face...

Really Makes my heartbeat race...

Your lovely eyes

and chubby cheekz..

Definitely the gerl

i wanna pick...

Will u Be with me

Till my last heartbeat...

Or will u juz leave me

....... with an empty seat.....

~i really miz u...my feelings for eu never change oke....

i hope u can feel wat im feeling rite now...

i miss everything abt u...

You are the music in me...

I found A guitar...yey!! finally can make a

new song....~

2009-06-02T00:01:00.003+08:00

itz been 2 days i've not touch the com...coz my bro using it!!...aiseyy bedah....hehe ader jer kacau...juz came back from werk...quite tiring today....

not feeling too gud tiz few days...

watz happening to me?!!

da giler ker?...

i dunnoe lar ehk...kadang2 oke,...kadang2 taq.....watz happenin to my lyfe nie?!!! i duncare animore...

....

2009-05-30T21:55:00.005+08:00

went fishing wif frens yesterday Nite till today morning...din, razif n tasha....quite boring akceli down there @ nite....Morning came lee n idir...i dunno wat time exactly they came down....hav not been having enuf rest n sleep...came back today in the morning ard 930am...unpack my fishing bag n bath n went straight to werk....Lucky It was onLy half day...wif my eyes so sore n heavy...hais dun wanna talk abt it....

i dun give a damn abt werk animore coz mon is my last day...hah watever lar oke....i juz hate it...

my lyfe oso hav been a rumble...i dun care abt lyfe animore...

When The Sun Rises....

Oke...Ni Da takde kejer~

1...2....3.....Check ur Right blind Spot...~

TiZ is Razif....Org Pulau...Hehe kidding...~

WaiTing To Go Home....~

no Mood to Blog now...

___________________________________________________________

Signing off....

YanO RazCaL

~i miss her....... ='(

SlaCkinG AwaY~

2009-05-29T19:29:00.007+08:00

entertaining Syakinah while blogging....she reali makes my day...im quite tired today...eventhough i didnt do much werk....slacking away as i noe im not gonna werk for them animore....

came back from werk mit idir chat fer awhile bfore we go back....as usual on my com ...chat wif her....something diff abt her today...didnt chat much...i tink something is bothering her but i dunno wat....evrytime i ask jer if shez oke or not...she will reply back,"i oke ker tak, itz not ur prob oke yan...'do u noe how much it hurts me wen she say like tat????....feels like something pierce me in the heart....u noe i still lyke u...do u reali wanna hurt me like tiz?..or u juz letting out ur anger n revenge towards me?....r u sincere in everything u said to me?..

watz the use of being a fren or anione tat cudnt noe ur problems?...i dun wanna be someone tat only be label as "kawan bile senang..." haiss i dunno lar...i juz feel fer her....ya Allah berikan lar petunjuk dan kebahagiaan di dalam hidup nyee...tatz all i want in lyfe...now i dun care abt my lyfe akceli..i have already fail in lyfe....

now i juz wanna make people/frens/family and her, happie....never let ani sorrows came into their lyfes....if i cud make all tat, then im happie fer myself....

my dreamz...my goal....itz useless.....

i lost one precious thing in lyfe......

i feel i lost...... everything.....

~going fishing later....aniting beep me oke....

2009-05-29T00:37:00.003+08:00

as usual juz came back from werk...so tiring...im feeling sick rite now...down wif a flu n my body is feeling cold...haiss dunno lar...maybe think too much,... not having enuf rest,....n not enuf sleep....

juz feeling so empty tiz few late nites...if not we'll be chatting to each other, laugh like crazy...sharing stupid jokes, singing...but now itz gone...i can juz get to hear her songs in my mp3 every single nite...whenever i went to bed, i wud switch on my mp3 n listen to her songs till i sleep...sometimes i wud smile..or even feel sad...

im still confused n still thinking back wat hav i done wrong to deserve someting lyke tiz in return...haiss if therez ever a machine or aniting tat cud erase all my memories, i wud lyke to do it...its juz too painful when remembering every single moment...

Define love plz anibody~....

Fer me...its reaLi hard to Love someone than u being loved......

wat do u tink....~

2009-05-27T04:42:00.004+08:00

today werk from 9am-11am straight...i tink i will die werking one day....during my day job,..i got a surprise news...its reali shocking....my condo manager told me to prepare a resignation letter....once tiz contract @ Tiara Condo finishes i will not be going back to The Gardens condo @ bishan aninore which i was to there...i say WTF!!! my Director told me tat he has no other site to put me in....SHITT!!! tat means i hav to find job again...haiss....

one prob after another....itz reali stressful fer me...to hold on something precious in life is oredy so painful fer me...now its regarding job!! haisss....i dunno how long will i hold on to tiz life...all came in one shot!!! i juz pray things will be better...i hope so...

im reali quite happie today coz i get to chat wif her online...she sang her new song n i was like so cair oredy...yan suke!! i reali like the song...she made the song in 2 days...she didnt sleep last 2 days...reali pity her...haiss but wat cud i do...im so weak...i juz get to pray fer her hope she'll find her smile back...shez suffering n i noe tat...haiss...

now juz came back from washing my bike n lepak-ing wif din, yantzen n gerlfren @ razif voideck...i had a gud time...laughing n smiling....@ the same time thinkin of her...everytime i tink i feel llike crying...but i hold back my tears...be strong yan...juz like wirda said tawakal, berusaha dan berdoa...i raeli wanna thank them fer being there fer me wen im reali down...tanx guys!! appreciates it very much~ listening to her new song right now before i go to sleep....gud nite then!! ~ZZZzzzzzzz......................

=)

2009-05-26T13:34:00.005+08:00

juz reach home to have my lunch...naseb umah dekat dgn kejer but fer tiz week jer...the following week da pat bishan alek...haisss....i dun like the place there...mangement die sucks to the max...tapy takpelar hav to werk wat....

ate lunch and blogging!!! hehe...havent hav much rest n sleep...from sun been werking non stop morning till nite...pagy technician then sambong kejer canadian...and it'll be like tat till thurs....

now im missing someone so badly...everyday hav the urge to call her...but i was so afraid tat she might scold me...i m juz afraid tat things will get worst...im juz too afraid...too afraid of losing her totally...but i juz send smses to her although she didint reply...i reali miss her songs tat she usually sings fer me bfore we go to bed...the sweet talks...i miss everything abt her...adakah ini cinta yg abady yg akan kekal selamanye?.....ataupon cinta yg bertepok seblah tangan....?...im still confused......='(

HeLLO sempat SaK....

2009-05-25T13:58:00.005+08:00

last nite i cudnt sleep so well...itz been like tat siince last 2 weeks...i juz feel restless...was so tired yesterday after werk from canadian pizza...jady cook agy penat dary jadi ryder...haiss....cuci kedai agy...pinggang mcm nak patah...still come back from werk i cudnt sleep...

msg a few people n i msg her....but didnt reply...maybe shes asleep...

i tink shes been crying for a few nites n not been sleeping well oso...hais i dunno lar...tat is wat i feel...its no use asking her if shes oke,...coz if she not oke oso she will reply oke...reali pity her...i dunno her past relationships, but the way it looks she suffered alot...i juz hope i cud be the one to make her smile n laugh one day...not even a sorrowful tear will come rolling from her cheeks....But its only a Dream...maybe theres still hope........or maybe theres not even once...

2009-05-24T13:54:00.006+08:00

SAturday~ Haiya so lazy wanna wake up in the morning...razif planned to go fishing in the morning @ECP longkang 6...wake up @ 7+ still in a daze n im so sleepy...juz slept fer abt 2-3 hours only...ShiTT!! reach ECP ard 10am i tink...found a spot n started fishing...then boredom strikes us...we changed to another spot oso the same...no story....till razif n tasha fell asleep i tink...haha...oke watever lar kann....

then we moved to a last spot @ a canal...tasha started fishing small fishes using tamban hook...haha klakar uh see her n razif fish...i got a few fishes tat day....

the view of the sunset is so beautiful...we talk and laugh...but suddenly i felt different...i suddenly felt my head and heart so painful...i rested for a while....then began to fell asleep fer abt not even 5 minutes...haizz dreamt of her again...tydo kejap jer pon bole mimpy die...then heard razif calling me...KACAU DAUN UH DEK NIE!!! we went back after tat n its was ard 10pm oredy i tink...

managed to sleep awhile taking a power nap...then din planned to go explore @ jalan bahtera..i met them @ one of the bustop @LIM CHU KANG!!!....otw there tak pikir pape juz ride mcm biase...THen While riding terperasan tiz bustop n the lights quite dim...suddenly ader bangla klua dary maner tah blakang bustop pakai hp bebual dgn tangan bergerak2...BABI TOL!! i was damn fucking shocked oke..sial nye bangla...da lar itam jgn lar sembunyi dlm gelap...haisss...then met din, epul n idir @ the bustop...we went inside bahtera camp n so far noting...hehe ramai sgt kott sampai pontianak takot nak klua... hehe~ oke off to werk geng...

Fri BLuesss FeR mEe

2009-05-24T02:28:00.006+08:00

Fri woke uP Late again ard 1245...DamN!! Nid To Go FrI PraYerZ...quickly bath n went to mosque...saw 2 of my canadian buddies oso @ there...ThE Weather was Hot N SpiCy...hehee...
juz Finished praying, i held up my hands n ask Allah fer forgiveness, to make everyone ard me happie, n never let any misfortune came their way in life...('',) dan tak luper akan selalu mendoa semoga satu hari pintu haty nyer kan terbuke...haiss...its reali hard...
Then went to canadian werk place chill down there...jumper hidir n we went to harbourfrt mit mif giler...hehehe hes reali the crazie one...
die da ader lesen motor..at last neighbour !!!hehehe...

Nite i met a few frens DIn, malau n bul....chill @ sembawang park, yishun and devils bend!!! hehe.. im tired n we went back home ard 4+ in the morning...~

2009-05-22T18:26:00.007+08:00

shitt bro used the com till late morning...oke nevermind abt yesterday~

yesterday wake up ard 12+ noon i tink...quite late i shud say but i havent been sleeping quite well since last week...i dunno why...i tink everyday i onli slept fer abt 2 to 4 hours...haisss....

whenever i sleep i dreamt of her and i wud suddenly woke up with coldsweat....n wen i tink of it tat it was only a dream i brokedown...i dun have to be shy to say i cry....yar!! i cried!! so wat!! its juz so painful to bear all tis...how i wish tat all tiz dreams wud be reality one day...but i dunno wat to say....

y is all tis happening to me??...why?...im juz so sad rite now... ='(

Our Bestfriend Had Landed...

2009-05-21T03:07:00.005+08:00

Juz CAme back from MMK @ bkt timah where i usually meet din after his werking shift...eating prata n listening to MJ12....Then Came tiz 2 chinese guys who sat beside our table...thatz where suddenly our bestfren arrived...LANDING TIME!! a FLYING COCKROACH came flying down...and it landed next to Din chair...WTF!!wat the Fish!!!

Org tgh rilek2 die datang pulak...DAMNZ!! Din Stood up n walked to the toilet...haha...i was like ??? blurr...hehe...so i stood up n aksyenn go to an open area where i cud see our table n lighted up a cigarette...HaiS...waited fer the Roach to fly away....in the end it did..wat a relieved....Din still in trauma shud i say...errr...hehe....

HeY PeepS...

2009-05-21T03:00:00.001+08:00

Hey...Juz Create a Blog So that i cud Say Wat i wanna Say Down Here... =) SmilEz To EveryonE...